I am having a bit of baby blues right now, and I just mostly want Olive not to feel any difference in my dynamic with her. We've had such a special year together. It makes me ache that it's over. Chris pointed out that when Olive grows up she'll never have known life without Lucy and so she won't feel bad like I do that this year is over. It's a good point. I'm sure he's right. But my heart is still so heavy. I think Olive will understand how I feel once she's had her first and then second babies. I just hope she knows, always knows, how much I love and adore her and that she'll always ben my special girl. In other news, she's been pretty cute with Lucy - kissing her and patting her, sometimes a little too hard but we're encouraging lots of interest and contact. She's a lovely big sister.

Oatsie told Olive "ssh" today and put her finger up to her lips. Olive did it back to her. She's so cute! She actually does a lot of mimicking these days. Lots of waving and talking and kissing and gesturing. She's wonderful.

We brought Lucy home tonight. Olive lit up and kissed her when we showed her to her. It melted my heart.

It feels like Lucy might be coming very soon. I know my alone time with Olive is over, and my heart is broken because of it. This has been the most special 13+ months of my life. Olive is the most wonderful thing in the world to me, and I hope she always knows how special she is to me. She's going to be a big sister and she'll never even know life apart from that. I know she's going to do a great job being a sister.

I love you, Olive. So so so much. You've been a delight to everyone since the day you were born, and the more your spirit and personality come out, the more and more of a delight you are. Your dad says you're a peacemaker. I believe that. I see you leading your sister and others. I see you making people laugh. I see you being so happy and loving life. You are everything to me. Please always know that. 

I LOVE YOU, MY GIRL!!

Olive is saying the word baby more and more.

Olive giggles so hard when I clean her ears with a Q-tip.

She says "num num num" and hums while she's eating.

I love when Olive sneezes. She loves it too. She always smiles afterwards. Often she'll do a phantom sneeze before a few real ones come. So cute.

Yesterday I asked Olive, "Where's the baby?" and she picked up her dolly. Today I asked her to say baby and she did it a few times. I think she's ready for Lucy!

Olive was invited to her first birthday party. It was tonight at 6:30 for Lane Burgener. Lane is the son of our friends Rhett and Doone Burgener. He turned 4. Doone said he was super cute and enthusiastic about wanting to invite Olive. We got him a little Transformer. We put her down for a nap around 5 thinking that she'd be up and playful in time for the party, but when she didn't wake up by like 6:15 we decided to let her keep sleeping. Chris called Rhett to let him know we likely wouldn't be there, and he said Lane had been asking if Olive was coming. Darn it! Anyway she slept till after 8, got up for a little while so we could change her and put her in jambes, and then she went back to bed at 9. I'm bummed she missed her first party, but I wanted her to rest. I love her so much. My sweet lovely smart funny girl.

We got Olive a front-facing car seat, and today was the first time I saw her in it. She was just looking out the window, grinning at us, and enjoying it. It was definitely time. We went to Red Robin for lunch and got her her own kids meal. That was a first. She was so cute and fun for part of the day, and very needy and difficult for part of the day. She had no problem going to bed right at 6. Oh and we've been putting her down with water instead of milk and it's going well. Love her!

These are my last days alone with Olive. I want to cherish every minute.